they are the proof that something was there and no longer is.
like a stain. and the stillness of them is boggling.
you can turn away but when you come back they’ll still be there looking at you.

- diane arbus

running to stand still

And so she woke up
Woke up from where she was
Lying still
Said I gotta do something
About where we’re going

Step on a steam train
Step out of the driving rain, maybe
Run from the darkness in the night
Singing Ha, Ah La La La De Day
Ah La La La De Day
Ah La La De Day

Sweet the sin
Bitter taste in my mouth
I see seven towers
But I only see one way out

You got to cry without weeping
Talk without speaking
Scream without raising your voice

You know I took the poison
From the poison stream
Then I floated out of here
Singing…Ha La La La De Day
Ha La La La De Day
Ha La La De Day

She runs through the streets
With her eyes painted red
Under black belly of cloud in the rain
In through a doorway she brings me
White gold and pearls stolen from the sea
She is raging
She is raging
And the storm blows up in her eyes
She will…

Suffer the needle chill
She is running to stand

Still.

U2

sigh.
i used to listen to the joshua tree in the darkroom.

i’m always working
working so hard…
i want to
but sometimes
i get tired
i wish i could just stop
but then
what would i do…?

from a truly talented dear friend

christiaan tonnis

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

“The Road Not Taken”
- robert frost

where do i go from here?
there is no easy choice
no clear way
the mountains call
the ocean forever beckons
the comfort of home now, caresses
yet my heart cries for more
if i could just stand still
but i can’t
i must take a step
and then another
and another
and yet still, another…
where
where do i go
from here?
where
do
i
go?

step out the front door like a ghost into the fog
where no one notices
the contrast of white on white
and in between the moon and you
the angels get a better view
of the crumbling difference between wrong and right
i walk in the air
between the rain
through myself
and back again
where? i don’t know -

- round here
~ counting crows

maybe it’s better
to keep going
to not turn back ever
to just keep putting one foot in front of the other
forever
nothing familiar
nowhere
to feel safe
nowhere
to rest…
to just accept.
to just keep going
and going and going…

keep going

strange
to look back
see where you were
how far you’ve come
further than you thought
like so many walks on the beach
where you just keep putting one foot in front of the other not thinking about how far your going just that your going then suddenly you chance to look back and see you are so much further than you intended to go and the realization that you must retrace your steps to get back to where you came from

~ this is loose and unfinished but needed to be written… random obsession… hrrummf.

to go somewhere
where i can see
all the stars

sometimes…

work is satisfying